My journey from wearing XS to large size

Back in my school days, every time my teachers would meet my parents at the parent-teacher meeting, they would be more 'concerned' about my health. I have a pale complexion and my parents have had enough of listening to comments like, 'iska rang kitna peela hai, doctor ko dikhaya hai?' 'Isko kuch khanay ko daitay ho bhe kay nahi?' 'Bari ho kay achi nahi lagegi, isko chuqandar (beetroot) ka juice pilaya kero.'

I was never anemic.

As I grew up and hit my teens, I faced severe acne and skin breakout. Honestly, it was depressing seeing my flawless skin getting the worst acne, acne marks, pores and pimples. Even if I wanted to feel normal, people would remind me how a pimple was popping up or how ugly it looked. I had skipped going to family shaadis because I knew people would remind me of my acne jaisay meray ghar tou ayina (mirror) tha he nahi na. I started going to see a skin specialist, and after investing a lot of money and care, my skin was getting better.

Till last year, I would wear small size pret. But then I started noticing a difference. I was not fitting into small size clothes. Within a few months, the medium was not size anymore. My body would look ugly in medium-size and thanks to the people around me who kept on telling me that I am gaining a lot and I should work out, eat clean and what not. Finally, I decided to wear large size shirts which would hide my fat. And it felt so good when people didn't pass comments on my weight because at last, I was tired of listening to those remarks.

The thing is that people only see the physical appearance and the changes in physical appearance. If a person's body is changing dramatically, please note that they know about it better than anyone else. Ankhein unkay pass bhe hain. You have no idea what I or so many girls are going through. People don't understand the struggle of those people. It is much more than gaining weight or acne on the face. It has affected my memory, sleep, it leads to anxiety at times, terrible mood swings, which might lead to other mental health issues

PS, Some people are fighting battles at different levels and they are least concerned about the weight. Next time you see someone gaining, remember they are the warriors!

To any entrepreneur: if you want to do it, do it now. If you don’t, you’re going to regret it.

Hello readers,

I am writing here after ages. I was tied up with numerous things after moving out to a new city. Yes, I have moved to Islamabad, the capital of Pakistan. And guess what I have started admiring the serene city.

Today's post is very important and this is about something very close to my heart. It is about my story as an entrepreneur.

Mysticare's Logo

“If you’ve got an idea, start today. There’s no better time than now to get going. That doesn’t mean quit your job and jump into your idea 100% from day one, but there’s always small progress that can be made to start the movement.”

As we grew up, we started working part-time along with the studies so our father would not have burdened alone with all the expenses. Back in 2016, my elder sister got married and moved abroad. Time flew and in a few months, my wedding date was fixed and I knew I'll be moving out soon.

What bothered me the most was that my father was about to retire, my sister left, and I was leaving soon. I was feeling helpless and I never wanted daddy to spend his savings for the rest of his life. My nights were sleepless; insomnia had embraced me and kept me awake to think about something before I leave my house. And during those sleepless nights, an idea rose in my mind. Everything started as nothing. I did not have big ideas. It was an immature small idea, which seemed to work out.

I suffered from the delusion that every product of my imagination was not only possible, but always on the cusp of becoming real. I aspire to choose something unique. For an emerging entrepreneur, it is very important for their product to be conspicuous in the crowd.

Mysticare- a blend of pure oils and herbs

I was young but I thought, ‘The earlier you start, the more time you have to mess up’. And what gave my thought a great kick was the famous quote by Michael Dunlop, ‘If you start with nothing and end up with nothing, there’s nothing lost.’

So I knew, my mum used to make oils for her hair and trust me the people who know her would agree how long and healthy her hair was and are.

My hair fall army 

The hair oil helped her the most when she was facing severe hair fall after the removal of her thyroid. I was determined yet not sure how it would turn out in public. Anyhow, I asked her to talk about the oil in the family. Eventually, our relatives asked for the oil and she gave away few samples and within no time, it was a hit product in the family. Her product was very famous in the neighborhood in a few months. But then we wanted to expand the reach and thought of giving it a name and made a Facebook page. After several attempts, I named it Mysticare. I named it, designed the logo, designed the stickers (yes, I did it on my own without any logo designing services.)

It kept on growing slowly and when last year as I was leaving the city, someone posted a very good review on a Facebook group and the orders started to pour in. Excited but sadly, we had to apologize and turned down the orders as we were out of town for my wedding festivities.

Mysticare Hair treatment Oil

Since then I manage the Facebook page from Islamabad and my sister take the orders from Karachi.

And Mashallah it's been a year and we are dispatching more than 15 hair oil bottles weekly. Moreover, a few new oils are in the pipeline and I will be launching the soon.

The hardest part about being an entrepreneur is that you’ll fail ten times for every success.

Today, I feel I helped my parents financially before leaving the house. Also, my mother always wanted to work as an entrepreneur and I supported her in this regard.

Anything can be done, as long as you truly believe it.

One message for everyone out there who wish to be an entrepreneur:

Stick with it, even on the bad days.

Please support my mother's start up and help us grow and reach to more people. x

www.facebook.com/mysticare123

Harassment has to stop!

We all have witnessed different debates on Sharmeen Obaid Chinoy’s latest issue. I am sure we have all given our opinions on this. The whole Internet took an active part and no one seems to be agreeing with the other. I did not choose to write on any of the forums because what I have seen was that people were too busy in degrading and belittling someone who does not agree with their point. Seeing all that I wanted to shout out loud my opinion. All I want to say is that there is a huge difference between the word harassment and molestation. How ignorant of us that we failed to differentiate between these two terms. It was literally very stupid of our people who kept on giving the remarks like she should have deleted the request or should have simply ignored it. My question is WHY? Why should one stay quiet about something that has made them uncomfortable? And what was more heart wrenching when it was women telling other women to stay quiet or ignore it. People need to understand that it was not a regular university fellow sending a friend request to his class fellow where she can say no and the problem is solved. It was his doctor who tended her a night before. Isn’t this creepy? 

             

                Unethical is illegal in any clinical setting.

Moreover, some of the ‘Keyboard Warriors’ are busy explaining and defining what is harassment and what is not. What ‘counts’ as harassment and what does not is to be felt and decided by the victim. Unwanted contact may/may not be harassment. That’s not for us to question against the victim.

All the male doctors in Pakistan should be very happy that it's only just one patient, and that too a sibling of a very influential person, coming forward with a case where her records were used by her attending physician later to trace her for what so ever reasons. I am happy that a lot of our doctors will learn a lesson from this and will not think of female bodies as their personal property to play with and I request everyone that if any of their doctors make them uncomfortable in any way, they should report them right away just like Sharmeen reported to the hospital. And she did not get him fired because of the harassment. It was the hospital that fired the doctor because of what he did was not acceptable for his profession.

All in all, it will take another century for our women to speak up against harassment openly. We live in a society where the victims are questioned and are mocked with disgusting memes. 

How did I get inspired about Yoga

So here I am wide awake at the middle of a cold rainy night. Rainy nights in Karachi are quite rare so it led me to contemplate about things I really never cared.

It has been raining since the morning and I am so in love with the enchanting weather. My window has a mesmerizing view of an abandoned land which has gradually turned into a jungle. I was enjoying the beauty of nature as a thought hopped into my mind of being isolated from the nature. For a moment I felt like some old school romantic poet who ran a movement that celebrated nature rather than civilization. Karachi is a happening city with busy streets and huge buildings everywhere. There is no doubt that I love my city, however, today I wanted to see more of the nature around me which sadly I could not.

This sudden sad philosophical feeling of isolating my existence from the nature grew stronger as it started to get darker outside and I could not view anything to appreciate nature. I felt lost and helpless. There were times in the past too when I wanted to reunite with the nature however it never happened and all my endeavors were in vain. I had once thought about morning walk but my neighborhood is surrounded by tall buildings which I really do not want to appreciate at the moment. What else I can do? I thought of painting for a moment but dropped the idea right away as I knew I was never going to do that. The struggle was real though. I picked up my phone and started browsing through pictures on my Instagram. Someone I was following had posted a picture of her doing a fantastic Yoga pose. I looked up in the sky and thanked God, why not- this has to be a clue from Him who helped me. God must have magically dropped a picture of a yoga pose on my Instagram wall. This was not the first time; He had sent me hints earlier too. I know I am soo blessed!!

Coming back to my struggle and the great help from Lord now I am determined about my plans. Yoga is the key to reunite with your soul and nature. How come it did not click my mind all these years? Great news is that I am moving to Islamabad in two months. Yoga in a city which is close to nature sounds like a perfect plan. But then I thought of a partner. Who would be my partner? Yes, I can practice it on my own but I know I will be in a dire of someone who will not be a mere partner but would be a motivation too. Bang! One more idea in my mind and this problem is also solved... Who else? It has to be my fiance! I cannot wait for the sun to rise so I would give him a call and tell about our future Yoga plans. My excitement cannot be expressed in words at this very moment.

These are the goals !!

If I close my eyes now and think of us in next four years, I see us doing Acro-yoga and teaching yoga to people together. I cannot bend more than an inch but I am determined that practice will make me flexible and there will be days when I will be able to do extremely hardcore postures like a boss! This is me with my newly born motivation and excitement. I shall be posting about my practice too..

Exploring the Royal Market from British Raj

I was born and brought up in Karachi. However, I considered myself unfortunate for not being able to explore the majestic building from British Era-Empress Market. The market from outside always gave me a fancy gaze and I always tempted to go inside. I thought that after all these 24 years without a single tour of this 127 years old marketplace; it was the high time for me to pay this place a visit. And I did!

The majestic building.

It is situated in the heart of Saddar, and is easily recognized by the looming clock tower that can be viewed from a long distance.Quite a stunning building with hidden beauty behind the sandstone walls. It is a fine example of British/Gothic architecture.

It is no wonder Empress Market is perhaps one of the most sought after markets of Karachi. Many people from all over the city come to this bazaar for shopping, despite its locality in one of the most crowded areas of the city where commodities sold here everything from fruits, vegetables, dry fruits, condiments and meat to stationery materials, pet shops and textiles. Fruits and vegetables available there were one of the freshest products of the country and were sold at the most nominal prices as compared to the rest of the markets in Karachi, other several difficult to find items such as mushrooms, asparagus, broccoli, fennel or avocados were easily available at reasonable prices too.

All the spices were available here.

While walking by the different shops, I encountered a place which was quite packed as I went near to see what was happening; it was a small vendor for oils. The seller had a wooden handmade oil press and he was taking out the Almond oil. It was a pure oil and was not too pricey. I got coconut oil for myself with a number of essential oils including Lavender oil, Tea-tree oil, Rosemary oil, Pumpkin oil, Peppermint oil, and Jojoba oil.

Handmade oil press

In addition, it has a different section for butchers where one can get meat at reasonable prices and all the organs were available too. However, it was too stinky and very low hygienic for us to survive barely after few minutes and we had to rush outside to breathe some fresh air.

Butchers busy with their business.
Image by https://thekarachiwalla.com/

It’s a fact that no matter how modern the world becomes, these old places have their own charm and they add beauty to our city. From royalty to ruins…the journey of the place was spectacular and there is no debate in the fact that Empress Market will always remain the Empress of its kind in the heart of Karachi and will continue to impress its visitors.

One year's roller coaster ride with my cat.

27^th March’ 2016

We kept her aloof all night. She was kept in a carton because she meowed a lot. Yes, you got it right. I am talking about my cat that was found outside a nearby park last year. I never liked cats. I had seen them pouncing on the people. Such disgusting dirty little creatures!

It was my 4 years old baby cousin who wanted to adopt her. We were certain about our intention of giving away the kitten to a nearby animal shelter. However, Zahabee (my cousin) recalcitrated against our will and kept her with us as she herself was staying with us that time. She named her ‘Michelle’, which her mother often called her when she was a baby. She was the one who named the kitten and told everyone that Michelle is her daughter.

Michelle's first day with us

Now the story of my kitten began to reach another stage. Poor Michelle was only a few days old. Neither she could walk nor could she eat. All she could do was meowing! On the other hand, we were clueless about dealing with the animals. A friend gave her a bath next morning, trimmed her nails. We got her a basket to sleep to in; however, she wanted to sleep on bed with us. At that time, we were too scared to handle her in our bed so we decided to put her in the basket without her consent LOL. This resulted in more meowing throughout the nights and we had to get up early by her meowing. One week passed and none of us dared to hold her except for Michelle’s mum (my baby cousin) and my friend.

When she almost made her way out of the carton

As the days passed, we learned how to hold the kittens. Our kitten was quite rebellious and always protested whenever anyone made an attempt to hold her. I remember I was the last one in the family to hold her in her hands. She was still not allowed to sleep with us since you never know when she could attack. To our surprise, she turned out to be a darling and always made it to the bed every morning right next to me and my sister. We started playing with her. Teaching her walk was a little time consuming as her legs were not fully developed at that time. We noticed that she loved cuddles and enjoyed playing with the ball. We fed her milk with a tiny feeder as she could not suck milk from the bowl. She had started sleeping with us but putting her in bed was a tough task. She wanted to stay awake until everyone in the house does not sleep.

Months passed and we noticed that Michelle had become the youngest family member. Taking her to the vet for the first was heart-wrenching. We cried like anything when she got vaccinated. By now she has become a very important part of the family and we did not to want to lose her. She is the happiest cat and we are the luckiest pet owners.

My baby cousin, Zahabee and Michelle's mum LOL

26th March 2017.
It was Misha’s 1^st birthday in a day. Like many cats, our Michelle is a little stubborn. When she's chilling in a closet or napping under the couch, she's not coming out at any cost, whether you call her name or not. So when I didn't spot her after my nap in the evening, I didn't think too much of it. But when I began dishing food into her bowl at her feeding time and I didn't hear her tiny paws bounding toward her favorite flavor of chicken Jelly, I knew something was wrong. We began searching for her in every nook and cranny. We looked under all the beds. We tore apart every closet. I looked under the fridge, in every single cabinet, in the fabric of the couch, in the bathtub ... even in the stove. We looked in all of those places twice or maybe thrice. Michelle is an indoor-only cat, and we were desperate to find her. After ransacking the entire house, reality began to sink in: my cat was missing. And we had lost her! We could not find her. We thought she must be hiding somewhere for which the cats are notorious. We did not want to accept the fact that she was lost.

The absolute horror that I felt at this realization is difficult to put into words. I was frantic. I called a dear friend and insisted that he cancel all his meetings to help me look for her. We ran through the neighborhood crying and calling her name. I didn't know how she got out, but she was most definitely not inside. Panic, grief and terror swirled inside me like a storm. I was clueless as to what to do.

Hours of more searching ensued. I put her litter box outside in hopes the scent would draw her home. By the midnight, I was exhausted from the trauma and the searching and the sobbing. I took a break from calling her name, sat on the back stoop, and put my head in my hands in despair.

Everybody went to their bed but nobody could sleep. We sobbed all night quietly under quilt. I was terrified by the thought of where she would be at that time. She does not eat anything except freshly boiled chicken, she does not pee anywhere except in her litter and she does sleep anywhere except her bed. The sun rose but my cat did not show up that morning. The whole family was in shock. We had lost our baby right before her birthday.

My brother did not give up and went on the search again. He kept on calling her name aloud and after a few calls, someone answered back with a fragile and frightened meow. My brother followed the voice and finally approached the block of the building where our baby cat was hiding. As she saw my brother she came out and jumped on him. He called us and informed us that he is bringing our baby back home.

Relief flooded me and more tears came, this time tears of immense joy. Once I had her in my grasp, I pulled her out and held her to me as tightly as I could. Even as she scratched up my arms as she struggled. We including my parents and sister gave her a bath. She did not eat and drank a lot of water, peed in her litter and slept on my lap <3

Misha maa turned one today I often think about those horrific 28 hours. And then I tell myself, ‘At least Michelle is not missing’.

When it rained.

I felt the icy breeze

Kissing my rosy cheeks,

My soul smiled as my body shivered.

While I walked down the lane,

It started to rain.

It poured for a day

And swept all my grief away.

 ...